The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
