mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
