ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
