I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize