I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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