He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
