so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
