Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
