She is in my trunk
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
