Soap is not a condiment
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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