just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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