I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
