He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I look excited, but its just a facade.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
