my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
