is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She needs sedatives and a leash
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize