that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
we made out on top of his cat.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
