Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
