you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
