Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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