we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
