turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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