I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
