I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize