During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
