the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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