Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I think my moral compass just broke
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