Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
