KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
