the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Randomize
