you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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