new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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