no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
