I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
