i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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