I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
