well you can't waste a boner
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So I just went to clothing optional bar
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
