I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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