For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Dear god my vagina.
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