she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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