i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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