Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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