They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
