yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
