He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
