About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
