You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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