DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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