Say something about gay babies.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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