Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
