we're blogging at a bar
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize