Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you win again, gameday.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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