Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
