im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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