Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
