Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
