Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
