so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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