Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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